BE BOLD….Take bolder steps in December

Why do we just sit and wait around and hope something happens?

Why don’t we take bolder steps?

Take big and bold steps forward.

Don’t try to be the average Joe. Do big things, make plans that will blow your own mind.

Do not operate below the potential that you have. What are your talents? What is your passion? Hone those things and bring them to life. You will be amazed.

Do not wait till you have enough money to make that bold step.

Fear of failure is always a hindrance, do not be scared to fail. I once used a business model that failed, if it had worked for me, i won’t know half the things i know now and i wont be half as successful. In school we were scared to fail a test or a class looking back today, some people who did well in all their classes don’t have such great jobs or great lives, they were just lucky.

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult

In other words

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.



Thanksgiving was last week and i guess everyone was thankful for something in the least.

I guess i am thankful for being alive and its the beginning of a new week.

The cycle starts all over again.

2017 for me was a struggle, a huge challenge, many lessons learned with a whole lot of losses.

It started in January when my boyfriend left me and my room mate moved out. I crashed emotionally and financially . Every month afterwards was a challenge.

 I wrote a new book and started a catering business in February. Every weekend since early March,I had a catering gig up until October when things slowed down which i believe is a good thing, time to create more ideas for my business.

In August, I had a death in the family, no member of my family has passed away in the last twenty eight years, my family bid grand ma farewell at over a hundred years.

I got a second job in September and i guess its been a slow cruise up from there.

While a lot are thankful in so many ways, I am thankful for the lessons I have learned. It has been the year of the L for me. I am in recovery mode, learning lessons and making better choices while keeping myself together spiritually, physically,mentally and emotionally.

I learned that.

  1. You are the most important person in your life.
  2. Financial security is very important. Cash is King. ( I am paying off my credit cards and some late payments have dropped my credit score)
  3. Everyone is not your friend. You can’t trust everyone.
  4. Alone time is one of the best therapy, read a book, shop, walks, naps. Spend time with yourself.
  5. Also spend time with friends, travel and do fun stuff locally too.
  6. Remove high functioning negative people from your life, their energy can drain you quickly.
  7. As important as family is, you don’t have to love them, we can choose our friends but we cannot choose our family, this premise makes it kind of compulsory to love them, certain events in my life has decided that it doesn’t have to be that way.

When you live life knowing that most of the things you have may be taken away from you at any given time, you will be more thankful. The losses I had this year made me more aware of that.


I didn’t mean for it to happen

But it did happen

He was fifteen years older

He was very cute

His marriage was troubled

It affected his work

One day, he graded me wrongly

When i went to him to have my work re graded

He looked at me

It was normal for a teacher to look at his student

But this look was different

It was lustful

He stared at my D cups which were fighting to pop out of my shirt

My D cups

The most attractive part of my body

He winked at me

He changed the 69 to an 89.

Then subsequently my C’s became A’s

He would grab me into the store room

And touch my breasts

I loved the sensation

He licked and sucked on my nipples so good

He would touch my “down there”

It became a daily routine and each day we added new adventures

We always prayed never to be seen as we entered the store room

We enjoyed pleasure for ten minutes or less, sometimes more

My moans of pleasure were usually muffled by the cup of his palm

My legs would become like jelly as the shook while he gave me pleasure

My classmates wondered how i got such good grades

i didn’t need to study

No matter what i wrote, i still scored better than them

i could not tell anyone

my conscience was dead too

as long as i enjoyed myself nothing else mattered.

One day mother nature caught up with me

My visitor didn’t come that month, and also the next month

I told him

He didn’t respond

the next day he didn’t touch me

The day after he avoided me

By the end of the week my grades slipped

I went from 99 to 89

From 89 to 79

My breasts were full

I began to fall asleep in my classes

I was always tired

He was no longer friendly

He embarrassed me in front of the class when my answers were incorrect

He scolded me for being tardy

One day i went back to his office,

He was not there

I decided to check the store room

He usually graded our papers there

Unannounced, i showed up to the store room

Bent on all fours was another young girl, just like me

She was in my class

I was shocked

I ran

I cried

All the way home

At night i cried

Next morning

I went back to school

To the class that now gave me misery

A big, burly woman in her sixties was in front of the board

I sat down and listened to her teach

after she left

I asked about him

He was shot

By the woman who loved him


I dont have children yet.
I used the word yet because I want to have children in the future.
I turned thirty three years old about two weeks ago and now it seems I am behind on the rearing children program. I don’t even have a BOYFRIEND anymore.
A few months ago, I met a guy who had a baby by his ex girlfriend. Usually the fact that a man had a child by another woman would usually be my deal breaker. In this case,all of a sudden I felt she would be ours and I would help raise the child until we were ready to have MINE.
Yes I said MINE, not OURS, I could be selfish sometimes.
I saw myself buying things for a little baby, feeding, watching the child grow, I was excited. I was also fearful because I was not sure how her birth mother would accommodate me sharing her child with the father. It would seem like I was invading her territory. I would feel the same way too especially if the child decided to like me better than her birth mother. (some kids do, after a few cups of ice cream and the talk of Disneyland)
The problem was solved. We broke up.
Now I am by myself in living color trying to figure out
1) How to get another boyfriend/potential husband
2) How to conceive as a wife or a baby mom
I mean both are relatively easy. I am not open minded anymore, when I was younger I had more specs than I do now. I started dropping the specs one by one, some are still very important, others are flaws I can work with.
My ideal child has always been one of mixed breed. The worst part is I am not sexually attracted to someone outside my race so how will that be possible? I have a weakness and a strong obsession for mixed kids, their hair, their eyes and their skin color (that fifty percent of both shades, a mocha latte color). Should I adopt one or go and have one of my own, with my own genes?
I want a set of twins, a boy and girl and then I am good. Like seriously, I would be content with a set of twins.
About ninety percent of my friends have children and eighty nine percent of them are married, so the one percent are single moms. Three to five years ago, our weekend plans were house parties and club events. nowadays I get invitations to baby showers, kids first and second year birthdays. I don’t have a puppy or cat to take to these events talk less of a child. I don’t want to be anti social either, I end up going. I feel my ovaries move as I see little children play, or adventurously look at objects. Their smiles warm my heart, their tears remind me of why I haven’t had any of their species in my house because I don’t have the patience for tears, especially when I don’t know why the child is crying.
I love going to department stores and shopping for my imaginary children though. Picking colors, sizes, it makes me happy but that’s how far it goes.
I do want to have a baby soon, so that my kids will have play dates with my friends’ kids. So that I will be looking sexy and sweet when my child is eighteen, not that typical middle aged parent look.
So that my brother will have a niece or nephew
So that my tv programming will include chidlren’s channels
So that i have an excuse to buy lego and Barbie dolls
So that my hair wont be completely white in my family pictures with my kids ( i have a very interesting amount of gray hair, it started five years ago and no i am not dying my hair)
i think I should have just gotten pregnant in my twenties even though my thirties was my ideal age of starting a family (still waiting).
Oh well!! Let’s just say I have baby fever.
Who wants to be my baby daddy?


I decided to call it a night at 10pm. I put on my pajamas and hair net, I took my ear rings off, wiped my make up off and at that point decided to wash my face, I decided to give it a good scrub with the facial scrub I had purchased from my co worker who was trying to make some side money to substitute her paycheck and also the child support check from her estranged husband. It was five dollars and she assured me that the ingredients which included coconut oil, honey, kefir, oatmeal , sea salt and sugar would do wonders for my skin. She had great skin but I was not sure if it was the ingredients she mixed up or if she was secretly using Lancôme or Estee Lauder.

On a Friday evening I was bound to go out with my girls just as I had planned to earlier on this evening when on the way home I checked my bank balance only to realize I had less than five hundred dollars. It was the middle of the month and I had to wait for sixteen days to get my salary. I had bills to pay and living on less than five hundred dollars a little over two weeks to the next paycheck would restrict my spending to an average of forty dollars a day




Last week was abuzz with the release of a new book by Toke Makinwa a beautiful Nigerian OAP ( On Air Personality).

She is Nigeria’s sweetheart and she has managed to win the views of a lot of a people including myself with her Vlog where she tackles different topics including relationships

After reading her self penned book about her early life and also addressing her failed marriage, i was shocked, it actually takes a lot to sit down and write about something so personal like that, she talked about how she lost her parents tragically and also how she found love in the wrong place and still kept looking in the wrong place.

She gave people hope in her reassuring words in her Vlog, a form of confidence you cannot buy but instead her own personal life was falling apart, her home was slowly smoldering, she was false advertising, she had to keep a straight face which i actually applaud her for doing in the midst of making terrible choices and living with the choices until it almost destroyed her.

It is pretty short and straight to the point and i encourage you to read the book, there are a ton of lessons to be learned on here.

On Becoming


Hello darling…

We haven’t met yet or probably we have but you are playing.

We are going to be lovers and friends forever.

I am going to love you forever

I am not perfect but I am awesome

I am your confidant, counsellor and chef.

Your secrets are safe with me

I will correct you and not judge you and your meals will be sizzling and delicious

I am your ride or die chick

I promise to always be there for you

I promise to respect you and show you unconditional love

Once in a while I may get mad at you,wait till the fuse blows out and I am back in business

I want to have gorgeous babies with you

I want to raise awesome kids with you, loving ,caring and ambitious children. 

Let’s teach the children to respect people, to appreciate money and to love life.

I want to begin awesome projects and finish them

Lets travel the world and build memories not just pictures

Let’s share a faith and believe in a higher being and also teach our children that.

I don’t know where the road in our marriage will lead to, what paths, the highs, the lows but as partners let’s share it together, through health, through wealth, we don’t want to be sick neither do we want to be poor so let’s work towards being healthy and being content with our earnings and probably a little more

When we start getting an old and gray, all we would have is each other so by then let’s sit in our rocking chairs every morning with a cup of tea and laugh, laugh at our beautiful lives with or without our teeth when we are in our nineties.

Let’s do forever together


I would love my readers to get to know me on a personal level not just reading the things i write, a lot of bloggers have awesome personalities and fabulous writing,i got his beautiful idea from Megan Has Here i am, read about me

1. What is your middle name?: Sekinat… Shocker right, my parents used to be Muslim.

2. What was favorite subject at school?: English. I used to love reading books and write essay composition

3. What is your favorite drink?: Arizona Half Icedtea and Half Lemonade.

4. What is your favorite song at the moment?: I don’t have a favorite song, I love Old school R & B. Anita Baker is my favorite and “Same Ole Love” is on repeat.Also Whitney Houston’s “I have nothing”.

5. What is your favorite food?: I don’t have a favorite food but i love eating great tasting food, i love to cook.

6. What is the last thing you bought?: Gas..

7. Favorite book of all time?: I love reading books, i particularly don’t have a favorite books but i love Sophie Kinsella’s work, EDJ  and Sidney Sheldon. Non fiction Malcom Gladwell.

8. Favorite Color?: My favorite colors are pink, black and white

9. Do you have any pets?:
I don’t like animals, i am terrified of them so i don’t have  pets.

10. Favorite Perfume?: My favorite perfume is Dolce and Gabbana Pour Femme

11. Favorite Holiday?: My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving, i prefer it to Christmas because it is not commercialized.

12. Are you married?: Single .

13. Have you ever been out of the country, if so how many times?: I have been  to Germany and England

14. Do you speak any other language?: I  speak English fluently as well as Yoruba and Igbo which are Nigerian languages

15. How many siblings do you have?: I have a younger brother, just one sibling.

16. What is your favorite shop?: JC .Pennys and Kohls. I love H & M for jewellery

17. Favorite restaurant?: My favorite restaurants are BJ’s and Apple bees.

18. When was the last time you cried?: I cried about two weeks ago at a friend’s mom’s funeral

19. Favorite Blog?: I have a lot of blogs i love reading, no favorite one yet though

20 Favorite Movie?: I dont have a favorite movie

21. Favorite TV shows?: Empire, all day everyday

22. PC or Mac?: PC

23. What phone do you have?: I have a Samsung Galaxy 6 Edge

24. How tall are you?: 5’10″

25. Can you cook?: Yes, I am a great cook. It is not negotiable

What other questions do you want to ask? I will answer.