Confessions of a Cheating Wife (3)

How do you look into the eyes of someone you have betrayed?

I walked slowly towards Yemi. I had the bed sheet draped around my body. He didn’t turn to acknowledge my presence but I was sure he knew I was behind him.

“Why our bed?” he said facing the window.

I could not say anything.

I had to ask myself that question. Why did I decide to defile our marital bed?

I wanted to speak, but the words could not come out of my mouth clearly. Yemi was patient and kind. How could I blow that up?

Osas was the only reason I would blow my marriage up with Yemi.

Osas was nothing like Yemi. He was just good for sex. Today, I got caught and from then on things would never go back to being the same.

“I don’t know what I was thinking, there is clearly no excuse for what happened in there.” I responded. I had to own up to this, it wasn’t fair for him to suffer emotionally for my infidelity. He had given me basically everything including the assurance for the growth of a healthy relationship.

He didn’t turn to look at me. He stared out of the window. It hurt to know that someone who could so easily look me in the eye avoided mine.

What was he thinking?

  • *************************************************

Running into Osas after a few years of no contact was a curse. Osas was my guilty pleasure but nothing good was going to come out of our encounters. The last time we saw each other, it ended on a bad note. I decided to accept my loss and move on.

He had cheated again for the umpteenth time and did not want to take responsibility or even apologize. It was my cue to leave. Any woman with common sense would leave such a situation the first time such a thing happened. I guess my common sense was lacking.

I was at Glass House, a tall building with over a hundred floors. I was meeting up a colleague for dinner. I walked up towards the elevator doors. There were three people standing ahead of me, a young lady who had her attention on her cell phone scree. The other two were a couple, the woman was pregnant, the man stood beside her and held her close, rubbing her back gently.

I craved for this type of love from a man for a long time until i met Yemi. Yemi was the best thing that had ever happened to me in such a long time. We waited for the elevator to come down, we knew it would take a while as there were other floors and other people on those floors would want to get. There were three other elevator doors. A few minute later, one of the doors opened up, a woman in yellow shorts, a tank top with a Jane Fonda look walked out of the elevator, the next person to come out was a familiar face.

Osas.

I stopped dead in my tracks. If there was ever a day to look so good, it was today. I had on a red dress, white pumps from Nine West. My make up was well done. I just felt the need to look good, and I pulled it off effortlessly. I pulled my long hair up into a high bun, the hair Osas loved pulling during sex. He looked good. His beard was well groomed, his barber had given him a good hair cut. He had on brown pants and a white long sleeved shirt. His eyes were on me.

“Hey.” he said.

I nodded in response. He walked towards me, I could smell his cologne. The familiar scent that memories..

“Hi” I responded taking a step back. I didn’t want him hugging me. He noticed what I had done.

“I am not going to bite you, why are you taking a step back?” he asked as he walked closer. I was losing my defenses. My body began to tremble, it seemed all so familiar.

LAW OF POWER 2: NEVER PUT TOO MUCH TRUST IN FRIENDS,LEARN HOW TO USE ENEMIES

I found this fascinating Law of Power from the book written by Robert Green. It has so much wisdom to it.

Here is the judgment

Be wary of friends, they will betray you more quickly for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend because he has more to prove.

Infact you have more to fear from friends than enemy. If you have no enemies, find ways to make them.

Lord protect me from my friends, I can take care of my enemies

~ Voltaire 1694-1778

Pick up a bee from kindness and learn the limitations of kindness

~Sufi Proverb

As humans we all have needs and this fuels the purpose of having relationships and building excellent friendships until we realize to some extent that maybe we are a little too trusting.

The problem is that we think we really know our friends. A year ago I was in the position of trusting people too quickly and taking them at face value until I was left for dead and made a public enemy. This opened my eyes to see that most people are not who they really seem to be.

We have friends who you will never have a disagreement with, such people are the ones to be wary of, because they will always agree with you so as not to offend you but the reality of the issue is not so. I have had a lot of disagreements with some of my friends because I am pretty vocal and a good trash talker. Most times it comes from a good place and when it doesn’t I am straight up making fun of you. I do not have a problem with offending a person if I have to. I am basically checking you so you don’t cross your boundaries. Lately I have been doing it more often and people who don’t have respect for boundaries would eliminate themselves on their own by deciding not to “like me”

At work, If you come up to me with you bullshit, I will smile at you dead in the face with a one way ticket to hell. I am not kidding.!!! #ifyouknowyouknow.

Do not be scared to speak in your own voice. Build your own authenticity. Everyone does not have to like you. Find yourself and fall in love with you. It seems like a hard thing to do, it really is but as time goes on, things that really matter will stay and things that don’t are basically gone.

Some people feign being diplomatic so that they would show a high level of character and meanwhile they are the fakest and sneakiest people of all time. They do this to obtain a certain level of respect which they do not have for the other person.

Honesty rarely strengthens a friendship so sometimes you do not know how your friend actually feels. They may not want to tell you that you lack talent, or that you are fat and ugly, or you are not as smart as you sound,or that they don’t like your significant other. That aspect of people is lacking these days and it hurts when you hear how your friends really feel about you from other people.

Some friends just envy everything about you basically and even if you are doing great, they will never tell you, its also part of not being honest.

When you decide to use your friend for whatever you need, you get to really know what they can offer and before you know they feel you owe them something and oppression starts, it begins with resentment and then full blown envy, then the death of the friendship starts.

Do not do business or work with friends, be friends with friends and work with those who have the skills and requirements to do work. Familiarity breeds contempt.

When you have no enemies, you become lazy and complacent, view your enemies as your competition, you want to outwit and outdo them, its not really about them, its about you because this process would make you more focused.

Knowing all of this be very careful… the best of friends have become the worst of enemies by not following this law of power correctly.

BETWEEN HER LEGS

Between the legs of a woman is one of the most powerful places ever.

Those legs

Those thighs lead up to a priceless spot.

Between the legs of a woman is one of the most powerful places ever.
It holds a penis, it can give an orgasm,it can hold a tampon and it is a tunnel for another human to come out of, a human that can weigh between the average of six to nine pounds.

It is sacred.

It holds a lot of power.

Most women don’t know the kind of power they have hidden between their legs.

Some men would pay hundreds of thousands to slide in between the legs of a woman, this is where prostitutes become important, this is where whatever is in between the legs becomes a commodity.

Some men would cheat on their girlfriends or significant others to get in between the legs of another  woman, it could be any other woman, whatever is in between the legs are quite similar, the only difference is how the giver of pleasure gives it to the man.

The want is high, the pleasure is temporary, it lasts but a few minutes but some men have lost their love, their homes, their money, their fame and fortune for what is in between the legs of a woman.

Whatever is in between our legs are not supposed to be hotel rooms for temporary guests.  That are holds a lot of  power, it has the power to make the penis hard during sex while stroking, it gives pleasure and orgasm.

Every month, blood comes from in between the legs for five to seven days non stop which is collected by a tampon or a pad.  This right there is a woman’s power to bleed for so long and not die.

Haven’t we seen accident victims die due to loss of blood, yet we have it coming from in between our legs for several days and we move around like nothing has happened.

A baby’s head comes out from in between the legs. I have watched child births on TV and just the size of some baby heads and how they stretch to come out is amazing.

This is a powerful thing.

If a woman knows the value of “in between her legs” , it wont be a pit stop for men who need a place to rest. The man who wants to be a guest must be willing to stay, or else don’t open the gates of the legs so  the man be a guest and then go away.

Let him see the parts of the body that are visible first and see if he wants to stay, between the legs should be the prize. Simple as that.

This post is written in response to the featured image from this article from a book called by Rupi Kaur called Milk and Honey. 

She writes beautiful poetry and i urge you to read her work.