IS there such a thing as scarcity of men?
These days single women claim that it is hard to find a man.
Nope, I don’t believe so. There are so many men out there. Where have you looked? Let me show you.
The Golf Course
The stripper club
The Gentlemen’s club
Have you searched there?
There are a lot of men out there.
I am in my 30’s approach mid thirties to be precise.
My taste in men has changed and has become pretty more detailed.
When I was a teenager,I loved popular boys in high school, tall, rich, athletic, the ones who traveled abroad for summer. We always had something to talk about on the phone.
I loved guys who threw random parties after sporting nice venues. Those were the type of guys I liked and back then it was perfect because that was what girls my age were able to find.
When I was in high school, I was talking to two different guys at the same time for almost three years. It was fun, those nights holding the cord on the house phone and chatting endlessly into the night until my mom or dad would find a way to send me to bed. The two matched my criteria. What I wanted was ATTENTION. The type of attention where we talked everyday or almost everyday about school, the latest songs, the next party and stuff.
In my twenties I got to date guys who were not necessarily my type, they were just available. I got to learn a lot about men and how they think, crazy, some men projected their insecurities and after a while I began to think I was the problem in the relationship. I had to learn to love myself and sometimes that was very hard. I kept lowering my standards trying to fit in and see if they would change but instead they ran off to date and or marry someone else and it was painful to watch.
In my thirties, a whole different decade where the concept of going to school is not so obvious but has become a choice not a necessity. People are more career oriented and goal driven. Buying a house, getting married, starting a business are those three key objectives for someone in their thirties so the pool gets smaller. It’s harder to find someone who will want more than one of the three things, some are ready but hard to find, the unserious ones pop up everywhere you least expect and you don’t even want to deal with them.
In my thirties, I expect nothing less than the three objectives one has to have in their thirties.
Buying a home and starting a business are serious goals, getting married and having children is a lifetime commitment. The commitment where the choice is most important. You can sell your house if you don’t want it anymore, you can have an online business and operate from any part of the world or change what you choose to sell and where you sell.
Marriage and having children is the most important decision, some people walk away from it when they feel that they have had enough, stems from overlooking red flags.
The red flags are glaring obvious in relationships but we choose to ignore them. We think that commitment will make a person change. The most important commitment is to oneself.
It all starts with you.
What have you chosen to accept to live with for the rest of your life? That is the yardstick with which we measure our commitment.
Commitment is whether good or bad, you will have to stick with it. Some people say that marriage changes people but it usually always for the better. I am a firm believer of that. If things get sour and you can’t work it out, it’s obvious the problem was always there but you swept it under the carpet like a dead rat which would end up stinking up the room and you will have to remove the carpet.
Having children will change you, you learn to nurture and have a lot of patience, when few months before a baby came along you could not wait for the light to turn green or a page to load on the internet.
In my thirties, I have decided to stick to the standards that I initially set for myself in finding my spouse, anyone who cannot accept or go along with good living personal standards is not the one and there is no longer room for compromise. Having a job, being stable in most aspects of life are very important this I look for. I have realized that someone who keeps changing partners in the name of dating is not reliable. Having more than three jobs in three years for me shows me that you can’t keep a job.
What is the state of your finances? Savings accounts? Investments? What are your plans? What are my plans? What are we both going to bring to the table that would mutually benefit us?
Those are the most important things. Those standards. In terms of self development, what have you changed in your life? What am I changing or evolving in mine?
Before falling in love with someone fall in love with yourself first. A product is only scarce when it is highly demanded. Be a scarce product.