I have received text messages
People have asked me questions
This time i will respond, not to the texts or the questions, I will respond on my platform where i am free to write whatever i feel like.
The answer is “No” and it will aways be No
I am not coming back. There is no second chance.
The main reason is because I am not the same woman you walked away from. The woman i am today and the woman you walked away are two different people.
I have grown, i have written a new book, started a business about to open up another one soon. Fingers crossed.
Life has taught me how to deal with events
It has taught me that in the midst of adversity something great comes out . I am a witness.
The child who watched her father assasinated
The child who watched her mother go crazy, go missing and never returned.
Those are adversities, that child came out stronger.
We had dreams, we were happy, most of my friends would have killed to have what we had.
I have deleted your number from my phone, the messages, more than three thousand of them. Guess what from the beginning till the end of our relationship, those messages are on my Ipad. i read them sometimes when i am bored and i smile because i remember each day, each memory.
You bought me roses, you cooked me breakfast, you gave bomb massages.
I was comfortable, i was happy and then one morning you decided to bounce.
I can remember that day vividly, that was the worst day and worst weekend of my life.
I found out Papa’s diagnosis, it wasn’t good, i cried, i called you, you didn’t pick up. The whole weekend i felt a part of me died.
Even when you found out about Papa’s diagnosis. You still broke up with me.
One thing i know is that any man who can go to bed knowing that i have tears in my eyes is not for me.
I grieved after you left, it was hard not getting the texts on your lunch break or both of us talking after work.
Those weekends when you did homework while i cooked and later we snuggle and watch Bond 007 movies till one of us fell asleep.
I remeber how you carried me in the rain when we left the club one rainy night, i can’t forget that.
We were two awesome people but after we broke up i felt i didn’t know you.
I felt like we were strangers in two different worlds
You checked on me almost everyday knowing how i was holding up.
It wasn’t necessary but maybe it was your conscience
Valentines Day came, you slammed your new date at me on Snapchat.
Right before my birthday, you two broke up and then you came back to me to see if we could work things out. After trying to try, for less than 24hrs, you went bezerk. There are no second chances.
Not after realizing you were on a six week spree with different women and then you had the nerve to say i was mad because you brought “Saun J” around to a gathering. No honey, i can’t be mad at something i don’t need or want to be around. You both entertained and amused me the rest of the evening.
Sometimes i asked myself if it was something i did wrong, was it something i said?
The night before everything crashed, we talked for two hours plus, we prayed before going to sleep.
You were my prayer partner, i loved how everyday, at the end of the day, we both talked to God about things that concerned us. If we made each other mad, we had to talk to God, whenever you wanted me to act right and vice versa we had to do our individual prayers and it worked like magic.
I smile when i think of it, everything was fun. We made everything fun.
So what happened?
You didn’t know what you wanted.
Everything was too real.
You had your insecurities or my inadequacies were not good for you.
Whatever your reason was or is right now, the ship has sailed.
There is always another bus to catch, there is always another man out there.
I am waiting to have a man who would love my soul in its entirety, someone who is ready to accept me the way I am, for who I am, with no excuses, won’t leave for no pesky reason. I am ready to give one thousand percent, and when i am for you, you have nothing to be afraid of, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
We have had a love before
It lingers, it stings, it remains but it will never be the same.
For this woman, there are no second chances. The first was a chance at forever and the chance died.
Another man can have the chance, the one who knows a woman is worth everything when he sees her.
I am worth everything and more.