Happy New Year Trybe

Positive Vibes Only in 2018.

So……. I am starting my first post of the year as a piece that has provoked my thoughts. This H & M Issue with the boy wearing a shirt with the inscription “Coolest Monkey in the Jungle”.

H & M has received fire and brimstone for the advertising and marketing strategy and they have issued an apology.

Yesterday, the mother of the boy took to social media to write that she sees no problem with the shirt and I agree with her. When I first saw the story on TV, I saw nothing wrong with the shirt, its a “young boy’s” shirt, a child of any race could have worn it, if the shirt was not used on the advertising campaign and was placed on the rack for sale, a child of any race, including a black child could have bought the shirt and worn it to school or anywhere else.

We live in a world today where people are so sensitive and also feel entitled to get offended by anything. I just remembered something that happened about three years ago.

I joined “Women Living Well” on Instagram. It is a page for Bible study where you do Bible journaling while reading a chapter in the Bible everyday. I thought the concept was dope so i joined. I told a friend about it and she was excited. So while journaling, there are certain colors you use

For instance

Purple- God, Holy Spirit,

Red- love, kindness, mercy,peace, grace

Orange- prophecy, history, times, places ,kings,oaths,

“Brown/Gray- Satan, sin, hell, death,idols, false teachers, hypocrisy, temptation”

Now my friend got into the color brown, and the first thing that came out of her mouth was ” Oh no, since they are white women, they must be racist” I asked her why she said that.”Why is every bad thing supposed to be highlighted in brown?” I asked what was wrong with brown. She said every bad thing is attributed to  “black/brown people such as sin, death,hell”

In that light she raised my awareness to something that would never have crossed my mind. I didn’t like that form of awareness because a study that is supposed to be relaxing and also informative would now feel overwhelming because I have to worry about why White folks decided to use brown for every negative thing. I replied. “Then change the color, you don’t have to use brown if you are not comfortable with it”

She got upset that I didn’t see things they way she saw them, I understood where she was coming from but it actually defeated the whole purpose of the study. It was taking away from the value of the study not adding to it.

The story I told just highlights how some people read meaning into things that are not relevant. The world has decided to make words offensive because some people say so.

We don’t have to make what is wrong for someone wrong for ourselves. Don’t allow the media to put fear and hate into us. It is sad that there is so much hate in the world and especially towards black people but in our own way let us not always get quickly offended and see how it works. Your reaction matters. Everyone and everything external will get at you, it is how you respond to it that matters.

A chic told me she would stop shopping at H & M. Its funny how people are quick to use controversy to stop patronizing. The “racist” shirt was not handed to them to buy, they were not at gun point to buy the shirt, its a choice, a white kid or an Asian kid could have bought the short, anyone else could have bought the shirt. Africans also joined in the whole saga giving their one cent to the matter, meanwhile the boy’s mom is unmoved. I read some comments that the boy’s mother had been bought by H & M and so she sees nothing wrong. She sees nothing wrong because there is nothing wrong.

There are so many issues that people instantly have felt offended by,

“Mothers breastfeeding in public” is the one that beats me the most. Breast feeding is natural and some people will still offended by it. The best thing is just to do you… Everything else will fall into place. Positive vibes only.



Its been 34 years after the first case of HIV was diagnosed and there is no cure.

In the world today about 37.8 million people are living with the disease.

Sub Saharan Africa has the largest amount of people living with AIDS which is estimated to be amount 29.4 million people.

It has reduced life expectancy at a horrendous rate.


It is the Human Immunodeficiency Virus. It is found in humans. It multiplies in any environment and when it enters the body, it weakens the system and remains there forever, this retrovirus is the cause of AIDS. HIV attacks the white blood cells which recognize bacteria in the body.

AIDS is called Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. It is a disease that is acquired which does a lot of harm to the immune system by wasting it after making it very weak.

HIV infection occurs through


2 Semen and Vaginal Fluids.

3.Breast Milk

4.Amniotic Fluids

5. Cerebrospinal Fluids

The virus needs a large concentration to cause infection.

High Risk Fluids: Blood, semen, Vaginal Fluids, Menstrual Blood, Breast Milk

No Risk: Sweat, Saliva, Tears, Skin Oil, Urine

No Exchange: Cerebrospinal Fluids, Amniotic Fluids.

It can be transmitted

  1. Through an infected person having unprotected sex.
  2. Blood transfusion of infected blood
  3. Infection from mother to child during pregnancy, delivery and breastfeeding

HIV is not transmitted

  1. Shaking hands, hugging, kissing
  2. Sharing technological equipment
  3. Sharing utensils
  4. Sharing bathrooms
  5. Sneezing or coughing
  6. Working with a HIV patient

Know your Status.

Always play safe.

INFO: Paramjit Sharma: Basic Information on HIV AIDS

BE BOLD….Take bolder steps in December

Why do we just sit and wait around and hope something happens?

Why don’t we take bolder steps?

Take big and bold steps forward.

Don’t try to be the average Joe. Do big things, make plans that will blow your own mind.

Do not operate below the potential that you have. What are your talents? What is your passion? Hone those things and bring them to life. You will be amazed.

Do not wait till you have enough money to make that bold step.

Fear of failure is always a hindrance, do not be scared to fail. I once used a business model that failed, if it had worked for me, i won’t know half the things i know now and i wont be half as successful. In school we were scared to fail a test or a class looking back today, some people who did well in all their classes don’t have such great jobs or great lives, they were just lucky.

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult

In other words

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.


Thanksgiving was last week and i guess everyone was thankful for something in the least.

I guess i am thankful for being alive and its the beginning of a new week.

The cycle starts all over again.

2017 for me was a struggle, a huge challenge, many lessons learned with a whole lot of losses.

It started in January when my boyfriend left me and my room mate moved out. I crashed emotionally and financially . Every month afterwards was a challenge.

 I wrote a new book and started a catering business in February. Every weekend since early March,I had a catering gig up until October when things slowed down which i believe is a good thing, time to create more ideas for my business.

In August, I had a death in the family, no member of my family has passed away in the last twenty eight years, my family bid grand ma farewell at over a hundred years.

I got a second job in September and i guess its been a slow cruise up from there.

While a lot are thankful in so many ways, I am thankful for the lessons I have learned. It has been the year of the L for me. I am in recovery mode, learning lessons and making better choices while keeping myself together spiritually, physically,mentally and emotionally.

I learned that.

  1. You are the most important person in your life.
  2. Financial security is very important. Cash is King. ( I am paying off my credit cards and some late payments have dropped my credit score)
  3. Everyone is not your friend. You can’t trust everyone.
  4. Alone time is one of the best therapy, read a book, shop, walks, naps. Spend time with yourself.
  5. Also spend time with friends, travel and do fun stuff locally too.
  6. Remove high functioning negative people from your life, their energy can drain you quickly.
  7. As important as family is, you don’t have to love them, we can choose our friends but we cannot choose our family, this premise makes it kind of compulsory to love them, certain events in my life has decided that it doesn’t have to be that way.

When you live life knowing that most of the things you have may be taken away from you at any given time, you will be more thankful. The losses I had this year made me more aware of that.




Hello Trybe!!!!

It’s been a hot weekend, so hot that the makeup on my face has turned my face into two different countries. Hope you have been keeping cool out there.

Empires have risen after viral sex tapes hit the internet. One of the first names that come to my mind when i hear the word “Sex tape” is Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian. Apart from their sex tape which probably yielded a lot of money, the attention the media gave them allowed them to craft into a lot of store departments selling their own branded products. Do you see where this got them? Other celebrities who have done sex tapes are

Pamela Anderson

Hulk Hogan


Jennifer Lopez

Kid Rock

Tila Tequila

And so on…..

So what on earth would make a person record their sexual escapades or should i call them sexual fantasies? Kim Kardashian made that sex tape with Ray J and she became famous. Famous!!!!!

I have never done a sex tape and i would not consider doing a sex tape ever. Not even with my husband. Some people enjoy watching themselves give pleasure to another person. It is fine, but not with me.

Sex on its own is an activity that requires a lot of energy. I would not diffuse the energy that brings about a lot of pleasure and then record it. Sex is for that moment and it ends there, anything else after putting on your clothes and minding your own business is just for the memory.

The internet remains undefeated. People can also be very mischievous or vengeful depending on the situation, so guess what happens, the sex tape you did with your high school boyfriend/girlfriend ends up on the internet either as a result of a bet or just plain mischief. I mean let’s say i meet a guy i am crazy in love with, like absolutely crazy in love with, then i decide to make a sex tape with him because in my little head we are going to last forever, have kids, grandkids, build empires, travel the world, that kind love. About eight months to two years later, we break up. There are those crazy sex tapes we made, put it on some USB and forgot about them. On a day he felt like being vengeful or mischievous he puts a preview on his private Instagram page for his followers and takes it down within an hour, then uploads it to a porno site.

So some porno watching fan will see me in the store somewhere and start a convo like

Stranger:”I think i have seen you before”

Me: Really? Where?

Stranger: I think i watched your porno video.

Me: (speechless)

I don’t even think i have thought of what i would do to save face, but i have actually imagined such a moment and i don’t ever want that moment to happen so i won’t make a sex tape.

Sex is a powerful thing. It gives a lot of pleasure and it also destroys, it has destroyed friendships, marriages, businesses and even political careers. Imagine you want to be a president or a mayor someday and then the video of your sexcapade shows up. It is a recorded action, your life has become a reality show. Then anger and revenge comes out, who sent it? Who told? Who did? It would be too late to do damage control. What am i driving at?

Sex tapes are more destructive than useful so why do it in the first place. It is not something that one person is proud to show another person so why waste your time making a sex tape. It can also be used as blackmail most especially when someone does not get their way. It has destroyed potential political careers. Unless i decide to become a porn star which is quite unlikely, i won’t make a sex tape. I have had freaks as boyfriends in the past and the craziest fantasy ever was a ……actually it was not a sex tape (smiles).

Whether you are in a relationship or not? Would you ever make a sex tape? Whose sex tape would you watch? (Smiles and runs away). Have a hot week.






Hello Trybe,

Hope everyone had an awesome weekend and a Happy Mother’s Day.

I coooked all day for my mom and spent time with family. I guess that was good enough.

So today i will be writing about regrets.

I usually don’t like regrets because i actually learn form my disappointments but i will take time to talk about the things i regret. The only reason why people have regrets is that we have expectations but it all leads to disappointments.

  1. Being too nice to people: Do you have people that ypu are too nice to for no reason, they don’t treat you the same way that you treat them but you take time out to be extra nice to them, you lend them money, you offer to buy them gas,lunch, movie tickets or whatever,watch their kids,  pretty much do things even when it is not convenient. I have!!! I dont want to say the extent ot which i have beemm a philantropist or how much i have been nice to people but believe it or not, i REGRET IT. I had an inicdnet about two weeks ago which made be believe that whether you are nice to people or not, if they are going to be unappreciative they will, so the lesson learned here is stick the basics, treat people the way they treat you. When you do so, you lower the risk of being and feeling disappointed.
  2.  Dating Certain people : When i mean certain people, i mean the ones with RED FLAGS. The type of people you would normally not want to associate with, you know that person is not good for you so in your mind you want to change the person, so the person falls into your dating pool with a few quirks here and there and because you “think you are in love with them” you choose to accept them until they really start acting like the flags you were supposed to not have accepted in the first place. It is a waste of time, money and emotions that could be invested into other things that would reap positive benefits. I have stayed in relationships longer than i should have when i could have just taken the L and moved on.
  3. Not going to Medical School: After my first degree, i played with the thought of going to Medical School as well as the man other issues i had at a point in my life. Even with the time i spent dilly dallying, i should have gone to Med School, i would be graduating by now or would have graduated if i started earlier, but on the other hand , maybe Med School was not for me , i probably wanted to do it because my parents wanted me to be a doctor.

Share your regrets. I would love to read them!!


  1. There is still racism in America regardless of how you look at it. The fear of living with other races and also the knowledge that one race is superior to another race is real and scary.

  2. You can be anything you want to be, do not let anyone else tell you otherwise, everyone thought that Donald Trump would lose , and also lose badly but he won, and the winning was HUGE!! Some people may not have faith in you but you need to have faith in yourself first, i don’t even think Trump believed he would win the election.

  3. Hilary lost the election but she accepted it graciously even though it is a hard and bitter pill to swallow. She fought hard and was determined, she never gave up hope and also inspired other young girls to always work hard.

  4. Americans are clueless about the battle they are fighting, most of them didn’t even vote during the election, so that means fifty percent of American citizens voted so the rest of the population complaining about the outcome of the election should not complain.

  5. Trump may not be a bad president after all, he just probably barks but wont bite but i believe he made all his comments during the campaign to clinch the ticket.


Have you ever tried to do anything on CRAIGSLIST like buy, sell, get a gig or something?

Be very careful.I have had good breaks with Craigslist don’t get me wrong, I sold my car, got another car, sold a couch, and other stuff.

I am in the process of renting out my brother’s room to reduce my expenses and two scammers have contacted me.

The first one was a little too eager to pay on time. I mean that is what we all want, someone who is ready to take the room and also pay immediately but being a foreigner like she claimed she missed a lot of steps and i am pretry good at hunting things down..first of all she used two different  emails to contact me,  so i got a little suspicious, here are my other reasons

1. I live in a small town, most foreigners would pick a room close to the city and with access to transport

2. She kept talking about her car, where she would park, either on the street or in the car port

3. The address she gave for the newspaper she worked was the address of a regular house in Edinburgh

After the last email. I told her to skype me so she could view the house and I would get to see her. I never got a response.
Then today I got another email from another scammer
 At this point I knew not to respond. The end of both emails were very similar.
How do I know that they are scammers?

They are so quick to want to pay without even viewing the house. Once the buyer is not local honey, you are most definitely getting scammed

They both wanted to pay with a Money order or cashier check which would most likely be fake. I am not going to go through  the hassle of not having something direct.
I love to stick to my guts and also use logic. We all need to be careful.



Right now, regardless of what you are going through while trying, i want you to know that you are a strong woman in my eyes.I watched that video you posted on this topic with so far four hundred and twenty two  views and a lot more coming and i could not bear it anymore.

You sit, watch and listen to your fellow women talk about what has not yet come your way. You probably have to pull off a good composure around babies, toddlers and pregnant women. The sight of a baby bottle or a pacifier might make you burst into tears.All those old classmates and family members who brandish family pictures with children on Facebook, Instagram or Snap chat would probably make your heart skip a couple of beats. Mother’s day is coming up next weekend and yet another year no one will wish you Happy Mother’s day except the matriarchs in your family.You get to see the highlights of being a mother from another woman’s perspective and  start asking yourself why you are different. You probably have a secret Pinterest board for babies.You go for baby showers, you buy presents for other people ‘s children but none has come your way YET.

I say YET because you will have your own child/children, you will carry for nine months and give birth like the Hebrew woman, you will nurse the child and also raise the child in the way he/she/they should go.

It is every woman’s dream to have children. As little girl’s we played with dolls and fit perfectly into the role of being mothers.  We couldn’t wait for puberty to have breasts and wear a bra, we went from sports bra to push up bras to full cup, regular size we couldn’t wait to have a period, we teased the late bloomers for not starting early, we had the hope of getting married and having babies, you shared that dream with many other females only to get to this point and feel betrayed by the body that should be doing what it ought to do at the right stage which is NOW. Or is it NOW? Because you are waiting and nothing has happened YET.

I can imagine all the tests you could have gone for, the procedures with hope that there would be a remedy, prenatal vitamins, taking clomid etc. Other option or better still resort to prayer.  Night vigil, monthly  program hoping a miracle will come through.You start wondering if you are being punished for something you have done in your past, why is what would give you so much joy being withheld from you?Some women have kids or get pregnant on the snap of a finger and treat their kids like welfare clients while you probably have the best agenda for your child and you are waiting on a positive pregnancy test. I am sure you sometimes wonder what is going through your husband’s mind, how does he feel too? The in laws, what are they really thinking?

There is also the advice from different types of people who think they have the solution or the perfect advice and you begin to wonder why the world is the way it is.

I can rattle on and on but i want to tell you that you are strong. God loves you and your season is coming. The wait will be over soon and you shall start counting months before seeing your ten little fingers and toes. You shall have the full nine month term pregnancy coupled with morning sickness, cravings, tiredness, dizziness, maternity clothes, baby shopping and a talk of blogville and the town baby shower. I hope to read a blog post of your delivery room experience as you remember the days you wished for the moment.

God has not forgotten you. You are a great woman, God’s own princess who has access to His Grace. The time is coming when your own child will be born, you will post so many pictures that social media will suspend your account for overuse. Lol. Also to every other woman who is going through this, i hope you find value in yourself, do not let anyone else make you feel less of a woman because you haven’t birthed another living being. It takes a lot to be a mother and sometimes it is not just biological. All the children in your life are yours, your nieces, nephews, friend’s kids are yours, your own children will be their siblings. Your children are just not here yet because their own package requires a special delivery. God will answer your prayers because  anyone who puts their faith in God will not be ashamed. SOON is when the package will be delivered.

I love you very much and you are in my prayers

Whistling Beautiful.


This is one thing i have been trying to rant on for quite sometime.
Is it me or some people find it convenient to just give out someone’s cell number or BB Pin without asking them?

So i met this dude at a party one time. For starters i wasn’t feeling him in the sense that i just saw him as part of the mix in the crowd, I was 99.1% sure that i wouldn’t see him again after the party. I think he was trying to strike a conversation and i made a rude comment, you know those kind of comments when you replay the convo in your head one would  assume that he would not talk to me after that, but guess what when he was leaving he came to say goodbye and the following morning. I got a BB request. It was him.

One of the Judas’s called “a friend” gave him my PIN.

Okay i am sure you are like “it shouldn’t be a big deal”
Maybe it isn’t, some hunters make sure they go for the kill and won’t rest till the get it, my “friend” just handed me like prey.And not only that she downloaded “gist” about me like, the guy already thought he knew who i was before getting my PIN.

This is a personal issue. I really have a problem with people giving out my cell number or BB Pin or any personal info without contacting me first. If i were in my friend’s shoes, i wouldn’t mind telling/asking the BB pin owner or cell owner as in “She asked for you number is it okay if i gave it to her?” Yes or no would work. Unless your cell number has been on a flyer, is standard on a website or published as a business point of contact i won’t give it out. You won’t hear ” I got your number from Lola”. Trust me you would have gotten a text first or i would have called you.

It is the same chic who gave out my PIN that is now lamenting out of self pity that she introduced the guy to me, maybe if she had asked me what had ensued between the guy and myself before giving out my PIN, she would have been in a better position to judge.Nothing ensued, he didnt leave a good impression that made me ask for more. We dated for a while…………………..
Anyway what are your thoughts.
I really want to know.