Hello Trybe,

Its the end of the month and this weekend is about to be a blast!!

It was hot and popping yesterday when i went to watch “Girl’s Trip”.

If you haven’t seen it, please do so, you are guaranteed to laugh till you want to pee.

So there was a part in the movie where Dina was telling her friend how to give fellatio with grapefruit.

That part was so funny, i literaly cried, my mascara ran all over my face.

Who has ever given fellatio with fruit?

What did it feel like?

I want to try it with my man *hides faces*

I heard about the juice dripping into the urethra and burning him when he trieds to pee. Maybe i should use a different fruit with succulent juice. How does fruit or food work during sex? The closest i have tried is whipped cream and the fellow was more woried about his bedsheets than enjoying the moment.

When i do it, i will post my experience.







Hello Trybe!!!!

It’s been a hot weekend, so hot that the makeup on my face has turned my face into two different countries. Hope you have been keeping cool out there.

Empires have risen after viral sex tapes hit the internet. One of the first names that come to my mind when i hear the word “Sex tape” is Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian. Apart from their sex tape which probably yielded a lot of money, the attention the media gave them allowed them to craft into a lot of store departments selling their own branded products. Do you see where this got them? Other celebrities who have done sex tapes are

Pamela Anderson

Hulk Hogan


Jennifer Lopez

Kid Rock

Tila Tequila

And so on…..

So what on earth would make a person record their sexual escapades or should i call them sexual fantasies? Kim Kardashian made that sex tape with Ray J and she became famous. Famous!!!!!

I have never done a sex tape and i would not consider doing a sex tape ever. Not even with my husband. Some people enjoy watching themselves give pleasure to another person. It is fine, but not with me.

Sex on its own is an activity that requires a lot of energy. I would not diffuse the energy that brings about a lot of pleasure and then record it. Sex is for that moment and it ends there, anything else after putting on your clothes and minding your own business is just for the memory.

The internet remains undefeated. People can also be very mischievous or vengeful depending on the situation, so guess what happens, the sex tape you did with your high school boyfriend/girlfriend ends up on the internet either as a result of a bet or just plain mischief. I mean let’s say i meet a guy i am crazy in love with, like absolutely crazy in love with, then i decide to make a sex tape with him because in my little head we are going to last forever, have kids, grandkids, build empires, travel the world, that kind love. About eight months to two years later, we break up. There are those crazy sex tapes we made, put it on some USB and forgot about them. On a day he felt like being vengeful or mischievous he puts a preview on his private Instagram page for his followers and takes it down within an hour, then uploads it to a porno site.

So some porno watching fan will see me in the store somewhere and start a convo like

Stranger:”I think i have seen you before”

Me: Really? Where?

Stranger: I think i watched your porno video.

Me: (speechless)

I don’t even think i have thought of what i would do to save face, but i have actually imagined such a moment and i don’t ever want that moment to happen so i won’t make a sex tape.

Sex is a powerful thing. It gives a lot of pleasure and it also destroys, it has destroyed friendships, marriages, businesses and even political careers. Imagine you want to be a president or a mayor someday and then the video of your sexcapade shows up. It is a recorded action, your life has become a reality show. Then anger and revenge comes out, who sent it? Who told? Who did? It would be too late to do damage control. What am i driving at?

Sex tapes are more destructive than useful so why do it in the first place. It is not something that one person is proud to show another person so why waste your time making a sex tape. It can also be used as blackmail most especially when someone does not get their way. It has destroyed potential political careers. Unless i decide to become a porn star which is quite unlikely, i won’t make a sex tape. I have had freaks as boyfriends in the past and the craziest fantasy ever was a ……actually it was not a sex tape (smiles).

Whether you are in a relationship or not? Would you ever make a sex tape? Whose sex tape would you watch? (Smiles and runs away). Have a hot week.






Hello Tribe!!!!

It’s been a minute since I wrote

Relationships are sweet and beautiful in the early stages. The honeymoon phase is usually the best, the need to share and bond comes in.

Questions are asked like. What is your favorite color?

Do you like ice cream?  What are your financial goals? Are you buying a house next year? How many people have you slept with? Sex with condoms or nah?

Everything is perfect.

Everything is bliss.

And then you get the question about your “ex”.

Would you discuss your ex with your current partner?

That was me once upon a time when I was like an open book, quick to share my experiences with my exes, good or bad. I had no problem sharing information but then there was this dude that I dated, he came into my life and changed everything

It all began when I was in love and happy with the new man in my lifetime, everything was perfect, sharing information was nothing. I felt like I was writing in my diary, I felt like I was sharing it with the one who would not judge me.

One day, it backfired. We got into an argument and he brought up the past, the things I said, made reference to my ex, he had to find something to hold onto. I could not believe that a man who claimed to love me would use my past as a reference point in a argument. I learned a valuable lesson, let the past be past, unless the information is necessary, don’t bring it up. I operate on a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy and I guess it is going to work for me. Some men feel threatened when they find out your ex may have been more handsome and probably made more money. Don’t  talk about the restaurants and nightclubs you and your ex once hung out. It is very uncomfortable. I would feel the same way too.  Also don’t talk about what your ex bought you as a present, some people can’t handle those types of truth. Have you ever been so honest with someone that you ended up feeling bad for doing so?

I have been in that situation.

For the potential Bae reading this I will tell you one thing .I don’t want to know how many women you dated or slept with, also don’t put a face to her when you tell me. Some things are better left unsaid.




‘You are wasting time Jamila’ Mrs Okeke said to me, the tone in her voice sounded impatience.

I looked at her helplessly and then turned to look at my classmates who gave me the look of lost hope.

“I am still waiting for you to start” Mrs Okeke said.

I put the marker on the board and write a 2 before the Cl. It was one of the numbers I remembered seeing when I briefly glanced at Bola’s notebook. I looked at Mrs Okeke for approval but the look on her face was otherwise. I was confused. I did not understand how to balance equations so even if Bola was wrong I would not know. I turned around to look at my classmates for validation, most of them had a confused look on their face and I didn’t even know what that meant either. Was I doing the right thing or didn’t they know what the answer was? I became more and more confused but I tried to hide it by acting as if I was thinking.

“What are you thinking about?” Mrs Okeke asked as she grabbed a huge cane from the table behind her.  I heard someone gasp. The revelation of a cane meant trouble. I have never been flogged in my entire life, not my parents and not anyone else. The thought of being flogged terrified me.

” I don’t know where to start from” I said. I had to give u p because I realized the longer I spent in front of the blackboard, the more angry it made her so I had to spare one or both of us the emotional trauma .

She laughed. I turned around to stare at my classmates. By this time Bola had put her face in her hands. Mrs Okeke pointed at Winifred who was sitting by the window. Winifred stood up and walked to the whiteboard. I gave her the marker and she began to plug numbers into the equation. I watched her cross off numbers and add numbers to the other side of the equation and looked at it to make sure she had balanced it out perfectly. She looked at Mrs Okeke for validation.

“Winifred you are missing one more, count and make sure that they are balanced on both sides, if there are two chorines on one side, there has to be two chlorine son the other side, so check and make sure” Mrs Okeke said. I stood beside Winifred shameful. It was so embarrassing to watch my classmate solve a problem so quickly. Winifred looked at the equation and she seemed to find what she had done wrong. She took the blackboard eraser and wiped out what she had previously written and then corrected herself. Mrs Okeke beamed with a smile I had never seen before.

“Great job” Mrs. Okeke said.

“Thank you” Winifred replied and quickly gave me a consoling glance.

” You may go back to your seat” Mrs. Okeke instructed her and she briskly walked back to her seat leaving me standing beside Mrs Okeke who looked at me and shook her head in what I would call disappointment

“Why are you wasting your time taking this class Jamila? You apparently have no clue what is going on in here for you to stand in front of the board for good two minutes and not know where to start when it comes to balancing equations.” She told me. I could not say a word. She was right. Why was I taking chemistry instead of government? I didn’t like science but my father wanted me to be a medical doctor or a pharmacist.  He didn’t want me in government, most of his colleagues had children who went to school in Europe and studied noble professions. During official dinners, the parents would discuss the success of their children in their various schools and professions and it was my father’s ambition to also have something to talk about. My mother could care less.

And because my mother cared less and my father wanted me to do something against my will, it landed me in this predicament right in front of the blackboard in an embarrassing situation.

‘Jamila I am talking to you’ Mrs Okeke said interrupting my thoughts.

‘I didn’t know’ I responded. I really didn’t know what to say in this situation. She looked as if she was about to explode in anger.

“Don’t allow your parents to waste money sending you to school and you are not learning anything?”Mrs Okeke said. I was quiet. What made her think that my parents finances was any of her business, her job was just to teach me and allow me assimilate the material not wonder if my parents spend millions. It is my tuition that also pays her too.  She gave the cane to Wendy who was sitting by the door. Wendy hesitatingly took the cane from her.

“You are going to flog Jamila,” Mrs Okeke instructed Wendy who looked shocked. Wendy looked at the rest of the class. She could not believe what Mrs Okeke had just told her to do.

“I can’t ma, I am sorry” Wendy told Mrs Okeke

“I beg your pardon?”Mrs Okeke asked. Her voice had changed and she sounded hostile, she did not like any form of defiance to her orders and it seemed like Wendy was trying to do so.

“I can’t flog Jamila” Wendy told her with an uneasy look on her face.

“I am instructing you to flog her and that is an order” Mrs Okeke yelled angrily at Jamila. Wendy looked at me, and then she looked at Mrs Okeke and put the cane of the table and folded her arms. I heard someone gasp.

“You won’t flog Jamila?”Mrs Okeke asked, Wendy shook her head in response.

“Very well then, I will flog the both of you, I will flog you for being disobedient and I will flog Jamila for not attempting to get the correct answer to the question.”Mrs Okeke informed as she took the cane from the table and tapped it slowly but painfully on Wendy’s back. She flinched.calculator-scientific



The driver dropped me off in the official car. My father was out of state for an official function, my mother was in Dubai at a women’s conference. It was just the domestic staff, I and my siblings at home. We were sheltered and could not leave the house without the guidance of the domestic staff.

It was the basic instruction from our parents and disobedience to that would lead to a great punishment

I walked towards the science block where the first period class was currently holding. It was chemistry. My teacher, Mrs Okeke was a petite, light skinned lady with short silky hair and sideburns. She was rather hairy and also showed some signs of growing a beard and also some on her chest.

She was very strict and had a shrill voice which I found rather irritating. She was standing in front of the black board teaching the class of twenty eight students.

I hesitantly walked in quietly and went to my seat.

“Jamila, why are you just coming to school?” She asked me in a loud voice. I could see twenty eight pairs of eyes staring at me waiting for an explanation for my tardiness. Where was I going to start though?

“I am sorry there was traffic on the way to school” I replied knowing that I had just told a lie that would take me straight to hell if I died immediately.

“That is not a good excuse, sit down immediately” she said sounding irritated. I sat down in my chair. My seat partner Bola smiled at me. She wrote on a piece of paper and passed it to me. I took the paper and opened it.

“She is in a bad mood this morning. We didn’t do well on the last test so be careful”

She was such a terrible teacher, no surprise that the class was not doing well. I nodded my head in acknowledgement to the note that I had just read. Bola was really nice to me. Most of the girls in my class were very competitive and some of them were not very friendly. I didn’t have to worry too much because we were not in the same circle.

I pulled out my notebook from my backpack and my pen and opened it to copy what Mrs Okeke had written on the blackboard. Mrs Okeke was staring at me. She looked angry but was short of words. She had written a chemical equation on the board that needed to be balanced.

2CL + H2 + SO4 ~> HCl + _______

The topic for almost a week in this class was balancing equations. The class had a test last week on the topic and it was as if she borrowed questions from A Level exams. Everyone in class broke a sweat on the test. Today, she was going to use this hideous equation asd6 class practice, i copied the equation into my notebook.

‘Have any of you solved the problem yet?’ She asked. There was a puzzled look on some of my classmates’ faces. She got a little impatient and repeated the question. There was silence, no one answered, pencils scratched notebooks, everyone had their eyes on their work but no answers came forth.

‘Lolade?’ Mrs Okeke said looking at a petite, dark skinned girl who sat by the window with her best friend Rosa. Lolade was incredibly smart and everyone in class revered her.

‘I am still trying to balance the equation’ Lolade responded looking frustrated. Mrs Okeke’s eyes started scanning the room. I did my best to avoid her eyes and started pretending to solve the equation. I didn’t even know how to start balancing the equation not to talk of solving it. My partner Bola looked at me helplessly. The apprehension in the room began to heighten.

‘Are you all trying to tell me you can’t solve this simple problem?’ She asked. No one responded and I also didn’t look up to see her face but i could hear the anger in her voice.

‘I will just choose someone myself’ she said. This was the worst thing to do because she could randomly choose anyone and it was a fifty percent chance for me to get called out or not get called out. My heart began to beat very fast

I kept staring at my notebook, I had to try to solve the problem just in case whoever she pocked to answer failed the question.

‘Jamila’ Mrs Okeke called out, I raised my head and saw her staring at me waiting for my response,

‘Yes ma’ i replied.

‘Come to the board and solve the equation ‘ she instructed. I hesitantly stood up, Bola looked nervously at me. I glanced at her notebook to see what she was solving so that i could have an idea of what to write on the board. I shuffled out of my seat and nervously walked to the board. The class was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. I was the official class scape goat and this time i was going to be roasted in class today as a burnt offering because the probability of me solving the equation on the board correctly was equal to zero.

I got to the front of the class, she handed me a black marker to write on the white board.

I stood there, I was blank. Cl stood for chlorine, H2 was hydrogen and then SO4 was tetra sulfate and that was all i knew. I failed to grasp the mathematical aspect when she was teaching. My home tutor usually did my homework so i never tried to practice, as long as the answers to the homework were correct and i had a chance if getting a good grade in the class,that was all that mattered to me.

‘You are wasting time Jamila’ Mrs Okeke said to me, the tone in her voice sounded impatience.

I looked at her helplessly and then turned to look at my classmates who gave me the look of lost hope.




I thoroughly enjoyed The Rants show today. Lately i have been approached with the idea of becoming an FWB especially after just having a relationship. Honestly speaking i am enjoying playing the open field, not belonging to anything or anyone for right now.

So a friend with benefits relationship is supposed to be one where two “friends” have a consensual sexual relationship with no strings attached. The strings are “emotions” or “expectations”. So how does this work knowing well that one person is bound to fall in love and feelings will get hurt.  A very good question.

Does your relationship have conditions? Should you have a friends with benefits relationship?

From a realistic point of view, it is not a smart idea, but again it depends on how you approach it, but then again, you are only responsible for yourself. Don’t ever assume the other person has your best interest at heart even though they say so. Put yourself first, you will save yourself from a lot of heartache later.

So who is a potential friend with benefits? Strangers. I am not saying you should run into the street and hook up with some random person, what i am saying is that you are better off with someone who has minimal investment of interest and emotions with you. Don’t hook up with your friend of over ten years who has been having the itch to crawl in bed with you, chances are you will end the benefits as enemies. Do not be Friends with Benefits with your coworker that usher from church, that chick in your class. The odds of happy endings are limited so save yourself the walk of shame when the time comes.

The “Catching Feelings” part is the biggest danger. Good sex can be confused with love; it keeps you longer than you want to stay especially when the relationship is a dead zone. Catching feelings will make you panic when there is nothing to panic about, keeps you up when the other friend is sleeping soundly. You start losing your mind when in reality you lost your mind from the get go when you opted to be a FWB when other better options of being single or being in a relationship are available, that is insanity at its finest.

With friends with benefits, its usually a Netflix and Chill scenario, chill in the sense of “having sex”. Sleep over’s and pajama parties are a “no”. Do not initiate spooning and wake up feeling shameful in the morning, those occurred after making bad decisions, drinking a glass of wine and shagging the brains off, yes in that order.

Jealousy is also one of the red flags; the “friend” goes with another friend, maybe a potential bae. Jealousy is not allowed here, the option was chosen from the get go, so getting mad and getting even is like knocking one’s head on bricks. Guess who has the headache. You!!

In the age where STD’s and unwanted pregnancies are no longer a surprise, protect yourself, use a condom to prevent STI’s, use birth control to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Condoms are cheaper than diapers.

The Maury Show and Dr Phil have guests explaining what does not need to be explained, as consenting adults who are in it for benefits, it is best to prevent these things before they happen.

Social media and social gatherings should be kept at the bare minimum or made non existent. The social media is the quickest way to find out stuff that will cause emotional torment, lurking Facebook pages, looking for who liked what on Instagram, becoming an unpaid FBI intern, is the quickest way to have sleepless nights. The social gatherings which include close friends and family should be “no go zones”. The relationship should only exist in the bedroom, some would beg to differ and say, “lunch”, “dinner” “a movie somewhere”. Well these are minimal investments. the most important benefit is the sex, if not please do your HEART a favor and stay single, go to lunch, dinner or a movie somewhere with your friends, the regular friends. *wink*




Hello Trybe,

Hope everyone had an awesome weekend and a Happy Mother’s Day.

I coooked all day for my mom and spent time with family. I guess that was good enough.

So today i will be writing about regrets.

I usually don’t like regrets because i actually learn form my disappointments but i will take time to talk about the things i regret. The only reason why people have regrets is that we have expectations but it all leads to disappointments.

  1. Being too nice to people: Do you have people that ypu are too nice to for no reason, they don’t treat you the same way that you treat them but you take time out to be extra nice to them, you lend them money, you offer to buy them gas,lunch, movie tickets or whatever,watch their kids,  pretty much do things even when it is not convenient. I have!!! I dont want to say the extent ot which i have beemm a philantropist or how much i have been nice to people but believe it or not, i REGRET IT. I had an inicdnet about two weeks ago which made be believe that whether you are nice to people or not, if they are going to be unappreciative they will, so the lesson learned here is stick the basics, treat people the way they treat you. When you do so, you lower the risk of being and feeling disappointed.
  2.  Dating Certain people : When i mean certain people, i mean the ones with RED FLAGS. The type of people you would normally not want to associate with, you know that person is not good for you so in your mind you want to change the person, so the person falls into your dating pool with a few quirks here and there and because you “think you are in love with them” you choose to accept them until they really start acting like the flags you were supposed to not have accepted in the first place. It is a waste of time, money and emotions that could be invested into other things that would reap positive benefits. I have stayed in relationships longer than i should have when i could have just taken the L and moved on.
  3. Not going to Medical School: After my first degree, i played with the thought of going to Medical School as well as the man other issues i had at a point in my life. Even with the time i spent dilly dallying, i should have gone to Med School, i would be graduating by now or would have graduated if i started earlier, but on the other hand , maybe Med School was not for me , i probably wanted to do it because my parents wanted me to be a doctor.

Share your regrets. I would love to read them!!



Happy Friday, its been such a busy week for me

I have finally finished reading “I am Judging You”

Here is my review.

Its the kind of book i would read slowly in the sense that she is not only judging you but also giving you her personal opinion about certain things in life.

Its divided into four parts

  1. Life
  2. Culture
  3. Social Media
  4. Fame

In life she talks about friends and different types of friendships, relationships when the have gone bad, and also how our judgement of a person quickly declines once we have had sex with them. Anal Bleaching is another intereting topic as well as skin bleaching.

“People you’ve known your entire life but haven’t seen in a year might show up looking like Casper the Friendly Ghost when they were previously the color of a Snickers bar and no one can address the pink,bleached elephant in the room” -Luvvie Ajayi.

She also talks about how people view weight in the society, personal hygiene is also on the list.

In Culture she talks about Racism, that is a topic that is pretty still obvious in modern day America

Racism is not always white hoods and burning crosses. It is behind teacher’s desks ans in principals’ offices.-Luvvie Ajayi.

She also talks about privilege ( i will let you read that yourself, it is very thought provoking). Also about how people think Africa is a country, still on the geography topic all day everyday, i am appalled to know that people still think that Africa is a country.

Do you have cars where you’re from? Do you wear clothes at home? Is there a lion in your backyard? Do you speak African? When did you learn to speak English? How did your hut fit your whole family? Who is the president of Africa? -Luvvie Ajayi.

She also speaks of rape culture and feminisim, homophobia and also religion.

In Social media, she talks about the use and abuse of hashtags,( i am an offender). Facebook Soap Operas for those who love their drama online, ebehaviors, success in business failure (using comic sans she says is an epic fail.) Lastly about how real G’s move in silence, keep things to themselves until plans are executed.

In Fame, she talks about how people feel they are a big deal on the internet, the ones who feel you have to know who they are, the brands, those who are quasi famous, it is a hilarious list especially as she describes each personality. Sex tapes and The Real World.

It is a twenty three chapter book which is comical as well as thought provoking. It deals with real life issues that we either talk about or are to scred to talk about sometimes.

I think you should read it I am Judging You



I haven’t posted anything in about a week

Also Welcome to the Month of May.

Anyway nothing new has been happening except the weather is hot and more money needs to be made. But first i have something to say.

I was talking to a chic today who was telling me how her boyfriend told her about her exes, he told her the girls he had slept with , in her exact words,

He tells me everything

I was speechless.

There are many things i can gossip with my man about, the weather, drinks we had last night, where we wnet last week, the chic at work who wont give me a break, the crazy dance my dad did at the famiy reunion, those sort of things. And she got defensive real quick too. Girl i was laughing in several languages in my head.

“One thing you dont know about _____,He tells me who he is messing with, who he has messed with, he tells me everything.”

I just replayed that part in my head

Drops Mic

Cracking Up.

So if he has been messing with these people while you are somewhere else nursing and taking care of your kid together does that even sound appropriate.

Straight up deluded.

If he tells you everything, why are you not preference, why are you not top priority? He should be having sex with you not those other women. He keeps adding to the list, adding a new number 44….45… 46….Why are you not the chosen one? He tells you about the sex escapades and the women he messed with over a glass of wine or on the phone and you think he is giving you tea, you are his bestie, his road dawg for life. That’s first class poison about to become an overdose.

I actually think it is disrespectful for a man to sit and tell his “current or prospective” about the crazy affairs he has had or women he messed with except he is using it as a reference point on conversation.

It is straight up disrespectful to put a face to the women who made you have an orgasm in bed and then parted ways with them. The gossip might be a bonding tool, but it is not love.

This type of man will continue to brag about his exes and tell the current how their exes still want them and they assure you there is nothing to worry about.

If he has to tell you everything, let him tell you everything that matters and that will also last, let his actions match his words, not just constructing sentencs and telling you things that you need to hear and meanwhile acting differently.

A man who has respect for a woman will pick and choose what to tell her that is important, things like how to build a healthy relationship, finances, vacations, investments not keeping a list of where he opens the fly of his pants or the number of chics he has slept with.


As the saying goes

“The older we get, our red flags become our deal breakers”

We date people and become friends with them, get to know them better and see if we can get into a certain level of compatibility with them. This also means that “sometimes” we have to accept their flaws because we have ours and we want them to accept us too, but there should be a line between accepting someone’s flaws and a red flag. Those red flags as we have gotten older have become our deal breakers. Here are my top 10

  1. Education: I love men who have a drive for education even if it is just vocational school, a PHD,a Bachelors or something. There is something about having a certificate in your name that shows that you have spent a certain amount of time getting the education and it is useful  for that purpose or more. No one can take that away from you. Once a guy has no passion to better himself in terms of education, that by itself is a dealbreaker for me. It also reflects the way he thinks too. Some people who have lesser educational accomplishments tend to project their sense of insecurities on their partner and please dont argue this fact with me, it has happened to me.
  2. Show Off: Insecure people are the biggest show offs, they tend to want to prove that they have certain things or they are a certain type of people. I am one of the people who doesn’t care. I once dated a guy who always bragged, he bragged about everything. The thing abiut braggers for me is that i always listen to them and ust make my conclusions on their behavior without telling them. Usually they are very insecure and suffer from approval addiction. This is my deal breaker especially after the second date when i am sure that this is a behavioral pattern.
  3. No sense of Humor: I think this should top the charts for me. I find humor in every situation except death and disease. I dont undrstand why  i would have to walk on eggshells in my relationship watching everything i want to say or have to say because he lacks sense of humor. My best friend is a comedian, no matter how bad a situation is, i always have a good laugh or find comic relief, i want to have a relationship filled with good laughs. If i can’t joke or be humorous around him, sorry bro, thats a deal breaker.
  4. A Different Religion: I am a Christian and i cannot date a guy  who is  not a Christian , it is not because i think Christianity is the best religion its just the clash in terms of differences and if one or both of us wil be able to cope or convert. A Catholic guy once tried to date me and through certain conversations i realize he is stuck to his beliefs and we may never be able to compromise, it could cause unwarranted arguments and promote family division when we have kids so i decided to say “deuces”.
  5. Vices: My biggest relationship deal breakers in terms of dating are somoking, drinking and womanizing. These are habits that require money, so before it becomes a deal breaker, how financially stable is the man? Smoking and its adverse smell, i cant deal with that. I love social drinkers, but drinking to stupor is a no no. Womanizing, the art of chasing after anything in skirt when you have a bikini at home, that for me is a deal breaker, i cannot handle the thought of STD’s or unwanted pregnanices, the man can go very farrrr away from me.