Almost doesn’t count

But everybody knows, almost doesn’t count. ~ Brandy 

Brandy was right a decade ago, and she is still right today.

If they have one leg in and one leg out, it means nothing.

If they haven’t made up their mind about you, it still means nothing.

If they were thinking about you and didn’t act on the thought, it means nothing.

From today and onward, no more “almost”. Almost there, almost happy, almost crying, almost doing, almost tripping, almost buying. 

 No more!

Being intentional about everything we do is important.

Being intentional in the lives of the people we love is priceless.

When we have an “almost” attitude to a person or to life itself, it holds no value. Imagine what buying a gift someone would do to a person, it would make them happy, what if you almost bought the gift. It means nothing. It doesn’t count.

I have heard people say “It’s the thought that counts”. Fair enough. It is the action that counts. Moving forward, no more potentials. No more , what could be?It is either ‘it is’ or ‘it isn’t”.It is great to know that you are worthy of all the love you choose to give a person or thing.  You are worthy of the respect you choose to give a person or a thing. You would not want to be half assed about how you show love and appreciation to another person or a thing. If you would not be half assed about how you treat people, then do not accept half assed love or respect. Almost doesn’t count. It either is or it isn’t. 

A person that values you will put effort  to make sure you feel valued, wanted and loved. It is very important to understand that as much as we want to feel loved and cherished, also make sure you are giving the same energy to the right person/people that we allow into our lives. Vet the people you let in, so you don’t get disappointed when they don’t turn out to to be how you envisioned them. No “almost ” energy.  

So in order to move forward and reset, take an inventory of what you don’t need, what is not provided and what won’t matter in the long run and get rid of them.

Is there someone in your life that you are giving the “almost” energy to and deserves to be treated better? You are in charge of your life, you can upgrade , downgrade and remove where you deem fit. It either is or it isn’t. 

Just know that no matter what

 Almost doesn’t count.

LAW OF POWER 2: NEVER PUT TOO MUCH TRUST IN FRIENDS,LEARN HOW TO USE ENEMIES

I found this fascinating Law of Power from the book written by Robert Green. It has so much wisdom to it.

Here is the judgment

Be wary of friends, they will betray you more quickly for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend because he has more to prove.

Infact you have more to fear from friends than enemy. If you have no enemies, find ways to make them.

Lord protect me from my friends, I can take care of my enemies

~ Voltaire 1694-1778

Pick up a bee from kindness and learn the limitations of kindness

~Sufi Proverb

As humans we all have needs and this fuels the purpose of having relationships and building excellent friendships until we realize to some extent that maybe we are a little too trusting.

The problem is that we think we really know our friends. A year ago I was in the position of trusting people too quickly and taking them at face value until I was left for dead and made a public enemy. This opened my eyes to see that most people are not who they really seem to be.

We have friends who you will never have a disagreement with, such people are the ones to be wary of, because they will always agree with you so as not to offend you but the reality of the issue is not so. I have had a lot of disagreements with some of my friends because I am pretty vocal and a good trash talker. Most times it comes from a good place and when it doesn’t I am straight up making fun of you. I do not have a problem with offending a person if I have to. I am basically checking you so you don’t cross your boundaries. Lately I have been doing it more often and people who don’t have respect for boundaries would eliminate themselves on their own by deciding not to “like me”

At work, If you come up to me with you bullshit, I will smile at you dead in the face with a one way ticket to hell. I am not kidding.!!! #ifyouknowyouknow.

Do not be scared to speak in your own voice. Build your own authenticity. Everyone does not have to like you. Find yourself and fall in love with you. It seems like a hard thing to do, it really is but as time goes on, things that really matter will stay and things that don’t are basically gone.

Some people feign being diplomatic so that they would show a high level of character and meanwhile they are the fakest and sneakiest people of all time. They do this to obtain a certain level of respect which they do not have for the other person.

Honesty rarely strengthens a friendship so sometimes you do not know how your friend actually feels. They may not want to tell you that you lack talent, or that you are fat and ugly, or you are not as smart as you sound,or that they don’t like your significant other. That aspect of people is lacking these days and it hurts when you hear how your friends really feel about you from other people.

Some friends just envy everything about you basically and even if you are doing great, they will never tell you, its also part of not being honest.

When you decide to use your friend for whatever you need, you get to really know what they can offer and before you know they feel you owe them something and oppression starts, it begins with resentment and then full blown envy, then the death of the friendship starts.

Do not do business or work with friends, be friends with friends and work with those who have the skills and requirements to do work. Familiarity breeds contempt.

When you have no enemies, you become lazy and complacent, view your enemies as your competition, you want to outwit and outdo them, its not really about them, its about you because this process would make you more focused.

Knowing all of this be very careful… the best of friends have become the worst of enemies by not following this law of power correctly.

THE TYPE OF FRIENDSHIPS WE NEED

In the mighty decade of the 3 zeros, we need to do better in terms of friendships.

As children, we started out as playmates, having a lot in common such as running around, riding bikes, playing in the sand, eating ice cream and doing so many things with little or no worries.

In our teens, we made friends at school, football buddies, chemistry study buddies, cheer leading squad and so many others. In college, we had dorm mates, study buddies, boy/girlfriends, social friends.

In our twenties, it was graduation period and new jobs, so we made friends with co workers who fit the bill or met new friends at social events.

Have you already noticed that the pool just got smaller?

In our thirties, most people have either become professionals, married or parents. This leaves a small window for constant friendships.
So what type of friendships do we need these days?

In this decade, improvements in lifestyle is very important. Choosing friends in this age is also critical.

We need friends who push us to do better and also live lifestyles worth emulating. So if you hang out with people who only live for Friday nights at the club and the weekend partying, you will end up being like them. If you make friends with people who are always looking to invest of come up with start up opportunities, you will most likely be inclined to do the same. No one associates with failures. Associate with people who have a positive, influential mindset. The ones who push you to further your education for career success and personal development. The ones who will pull a few people to invest in a business or come through with a start up.

If one of your friends is like a flat tire in your life, you need to pump up a new one.