Right now, regardless of what you are going through while trying, i want you to know that you are a strong woman in my eyes.I watched that video you posted on this topic with so far four hundred and twenty two views and a lot more coming and i could not bear it anymore.
You sit, watch and listen to your fellow women talk about what has not yet come your way. You probably have to pull off a good composure around babies, toddlers and pregnant women. The sight of a baby bottle or a pacifier might make you burst into tears.All those old classmates and family members who brandish family pictures with children on Facebook, Instagram or Snap chat would probably make your heart skip a couple of beats. Mother’s day is coming up next weekend and yet another year no one will wish you Happy Mother’s day except the matriarchs in your family.You get to see the highlights of being a mother from another woman’s perspective and start asking yourself why you are different. You probably have a secret Pinterest board for babies.You go for baby showers, you buy presents for other people ‘s children but none has come your way YET.
I say YET because you will have your own child/children, you will carry for nine months and give birth like the Hebrew woman, you will nurse the child and also raise the child in the way he/she/they should go.
It is every woman’s dream to have children. As little girl’s we played with dolls and fit perfectly into the role of being mothers. We couldn’t wait for puberty to have breasts and wear a bra, we went from sports bra to push up bras to full cup, regular size we couldn’t wait to have a period, we teased the late bloomers for not starting early, we had the hope of getting married and having babies, you shared that dream with many other females only to get to this point and feel betrayed by the body that should be doing what it ought to do at the right stage which is NOW. Or is it NOW? Because you are waiting and nothing has happened YET.
I can imagine all the tests you could have gone for, the procedures with hope that there would be a remedy, prenatal vitamins, taking clomid etc. Other option or better still resort to prayer. Night vigil, monthly program hoping a miracle will come through.You start wondering if you are being punished for something you have done in your past, why is what would give you so much joy being withheld from you?Some women have kids or get pregnant on the snap of a finger and treat their kids like welfare clients while you probably have the best agenda for your child and you are waiting on a positive pregnancy test. I am sure you sometimes wonder what is going through your husband’s mind, how does he feel too? The in laws, what are they really thinking?
There is also the advice from different types of people who think they have the solution or the perfect advice and you begin to wonder why the world is the way it is.
I can rattle on and on but i want to tell you that you are strong. God loves you and your season is coming. The wait will be over soon and you shall start counting months before seeing your ten little fingers and toes. You shall have the full nine month term pregnancy coupled with morning sickness, cravings, tiredness, dizziness, maternity clothes, baby shopping and a talk of blogville and the town baby shower. I hope to read a blog post of your delivery room experience as you remember the days you wished for the moment.
God has not forgotten you. You are a great woman, God’s own princess who has access to His Grace. The time is coming when your own child will be born, you will post so many pictures that social media will suspend your account for overuse. Lol. Also to every other woman who is going through this, i hope you find value in yourself, do not let anyone else make you feel less of a woman because you haven’t birthed another living being. It takes a lot to be a mother and sometimes it is not just biological. All the children in your life are yours, your nieces, nephews, friend’s kids are yours, your own children will be their siblings. Your children are just not here yet because their own package requires a special delivery. God will answer your prayers because anyone who puts their faith in God will not be ashamed. SOON is when the package will be delivered.
I love you very much and you are in my prayers